How can I call myself Indian, when I can barely hold a conversation in Tamil. Forget Hindi.
Being around so many actual Indians, I feel like an American joke.
I wish I was like my friends, they speak and understand Tamil so fluently. They know what's going on at all times, understand all the inside jokes. But, I always feel so lost. In the language that's supposed to be my mother tongue.
At the same time, this speaks to how fortunate I am. My friends had to communicate with their grandparents, who are not comfortable speaking in English. Learning Tamil was the only way for them to bridge the gap, for their grandparents.
I am fortunate to have grandparents who had the opportunity to not only learn to speak, read, and write English, but, in my grandmother's case, also teach it for many years.
How lucky am I, that there wasn't a communication barrier between my grandparents and I, when I was growing up. Because they bridged that gap for me.
Sometimes, I wish I hadn't been so lucky.
Unrelated, I also hate myself sometimes.
Being around so many actual Indians, I feel like an American joke.
I wish I was like my friends, they speak and understand Tamil so fluently. They know what's going on at all times, understand all the inside jokes. But, I always feel so lost. In the language that's supposed to be my mother tongue.
At the same time, this speaks to how fortunate I am. My friends had to communicate with their grandparents, who are not comfortable speaking in English. Learning Tamil was the only way for them to bridge the gap, for their grandparents.
I am fortunate to have grandparents who had the opportunity to not only learn to speak, read, and write English, but, in my grandmother's case, also teach it for many years.
How lucky am I, that there wasn't a communication barrier between my grandparents and I, when I was growing up. Because they bridged that gap for me.
Sometimes, I wish I hadn't been so lucky.
Unrelated, I also hate myself sometimes.
