What does a professional engineer look like?

When I was a teenager, I would have answered this question with a kind of "duh" expression. It's clearly a strong man who operates heavy machinery and wears a hardhat everywhere. Even at home, I think.

There is definitely no other kind of engineer. Rolls eyes, flips hair, struts off.

She's such a brat, goodness.

Well, teenage me, you're wrong. But I think you'll be okay with that :)

I'm sitting in an R&D lab, working on a test method for medical devices, in my jeans and combat boots. Sporting pink and purple hair and glasses. Being an engineer!

I've even operated heavy machinery and made a tape dispenser out of aluminum and steel (long story). I didn't have to wear a hardhat, but I did have safety glasses 😎

Even though I'm so exhausted from the experiment I'm running at work. And making that damn tape dispenser was one of the most stressful projects I've ever done. And I'm constantly doubting myself in everything I work on, and the anxiety of it all can be so draining.

It's okay, because I know if I could go back in time and meet my past, she would just be excited to see me and where I am now. And know that she'll be there soon.

And that is the least exhausting feeling in the world.

My most recognizable expression

I had posted a picture of me mid-laugh on Instagram, and a friend commented how she can hear my laughter so clearly through her phone, just by looking at the image. When I relayed that to my boyfriend, he said it made sense, considering how it's my most recognizable expression.

If I heard this comment a while ago, I don't think I would have appreciated it as much as I do now.

I have a very distinct laugh. Since I was a kid, I've had a loud, in-your-face laugh that you could always hear. I laugh with my whole body, and it doesn't take much for me to do so. If I am in a room, and you couldn't find me, you could probably use my laugh as a GPS signal.

As a kid, I didn't appreciate how much my laugh stuck out. In general, you don't want to stick out during that age, so I wasn't thrilled about this unique trait. On my sweet 16, my friends roasted me (with good intentions, I'm sure) and compared my laughter to that of a hyena. I'm sure you can understand my teenage wariness.

My mom and I actually have similar laughs. She's always joked about how I've gotten so many of her bad traits, including migraines and body hair. When I was younger, I probably would have added this laugh to the list.

But now, when I hear how people know my laugh, no matter where I am, it means something more than just being loud.

It means that they, more often than not, see me laughing. They see my sincerity, my joy when I'm in their company, and they appreciate it. Because it is the most obvious sign of happiness, so they know that I'm truly happy.

I'm glad that my happiest expression is my most recognizable.

Family: What Does it Even Mean?

From Webster Dictionary:

A group of people related to one another by blood or marriage.
"Friends and family can provide support"
synonyms: relatives, relations, blood relations, family members, kin, next of kin, kinsfolk, kinsmen, kinswomen, kindred, one's (own) flesh and blood, connections.

From Urban Dictionary:

A group of people, usually of the same blood (but do not have to be), who genuinely love, trust, care about, and look out for each other.

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We don't have the opportunity to pick and choose the people we are related to. But I do have the ability to choose the people I want in my family. This includes people I am related to by blood, but a decent part of my family is not. I am bonded to these people by experiences, memories, love, trust, and happiness. And my family evolves over time.

Unfortunately, some of the people I am related to by blood do not meet these criteria. It sucks, it actually fucking sucks. Because I love them and would love for them to be a part of my family. In fact, I have tried for so long to include them in my family. My parents even tried before me, but to no avail. They don't see us as part of our family (and we're definitely not included in theirs) so after many years, it's time to accept it and move on.

I've tried accepting it for a while. It'll take time. But every event we're not included in, every time we're ignored, or every snide comment we hear, helps build my resolve.

So, I prefer Urban Dictionary's definition over Webster's. It may not be as official, but it is far more accurate.